


If This Is a Death Note (Then Tell Me Your Name)

by SilverFlameAlchemist



Series: Jukebox Drabbles [2]
Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kira Is His Stage Name, L is a Baby Panda, Mello Likes Girls and Alcohol, Mentions of self-harm, Misa isn't Annoying this time, Multi, Near has Emotions, One Shot, Other, POV Second Person, Protective Mello, Protective Ryuk, Reader-Insert, Rock Stars, Romance, Song Inspired, Songfic, boys in a band, mentions of abuse, reader/various - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 07:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10301540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFlameAlchemist/pseuds/SilverFlameAlchemist
Summary: Because life could never just be normal. Least of all with him around.Reader/Various. Separate Summaries Inside.





	1. Lollipop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You blinked twice, returned your gaze to his, and asked flatly, "you dripped ice cream on me?"  
> "Not intentionally." Was his simple answer.
> 
> L Lawliet/Reader

_Lollipop, lollipop,_  
_Oh lolly, lolly, lolly,_  
_Lollipop, lollipop,_  
_Oh lolly, lolly…_

You sat on the sofa with a huff, waiting for Matsuda to come get you from the lobby and take you home. As much as you hated to admit it, the goof was your cousin and therefore in charge of keeping an eye on you while you were here for the investigation.

It was just some routine questions that you'd had to answer, but already you were tired and really all you wanted to do was go home and sleep. You yawned softly, not to fall asleep where you sat, and folded your arms in an attempt to keep yourself uncomfortable enough to stay awake.

A commotion over by the elevator made you look up, and Matsuda came over to you, his signature apologetic smile in place.

"Let me guess," you began, standing to look him in the eye, "you just got another lead?"

He nodded. "Sorry, but here," he handed over his pass card, "you can wait for me upstairs… It's more comfortable then down here."

You sighed softly, taking the card from him and smiling. "Just come back quick, okay, I don't wanna be here all night."

He grinned and clapped you on the shoulder. "I'll try not to be too long."

You waved him out the door and then headed over to the elevator, swiping his card and then pressing the right button and yawning again as the door slipped closed. You hoped you'd be able to catch a night upstairs without anyone caring…

 _Call my baby Lollipop,_  
_Tell ya' why,_  
_His kisses sweeter than an apple pie…_

The elevator ding cheerily and released you into the SPK's main room, a glittering array of screens covering one wall and the furniture all turned slightly so that any number of people could watch what was happening at the same time.

You tentatively stepped further into the room, gaze darting around the large room as you searched for any movement. You weren't sure whether all of the members had left with Matsuda, or if it had just been him and Mogi who'd gone to do a routine check on their own.

But as you moved through the room, growing closer to the nearest couch, you decided you must be alone up here with only the furniture and screens as company.

You sighed as you sat on the couch, double-checking that you were alone before you grabbed the two pillows on the couch and bunched them together under your head, throwing your coat over you and closing your eyes.

Your breathing evened out quickly, and as you started to drift off, you thought you heard something shuffle closer, but ignored it in favor of your much-needed nap.

But then something cold landed on your cheek and you started awake. You opened your eyes in time to see a mass of raven locks descending towards your face, and then felt something warm and wet run over your cheek where the cold substance had been only moments ago.

You threw a rabbit punch into what you had finally identified as a stomach and made a mad dash over the back of the sofa for the elevator.

 _Sweeter than candy on a stick,_  
_Huckleberry, cherry, or lime._  
_If you had a choice he'd be your pick,_  
_But Lollipop is mine…_

You'd made it to the elevator before you realized you didn't have Matsuda's pass card and therefore couldn't make your escape, but at roughly that same time a warm hand closed over your shoulder and turned you around.

"I apologize for startling you," the soft voice was only a little short of breath from the punch you'd delivered, "but I couldn't let it go to waste."

You were about to ask what he meant when you spotted the ice cream sundae in his hand and snapped your mouth shut. You blinked twice, returned your gaze to his, and asked flatly, "you dripped ice cream on me?"

"Not intentionally." Was his simple answer. "But since we are asking questions, may I enquire as to who you are?" The hand on your shoulder left its perch in favor of picking up the spoon in his sundae with two fingers and taking it for a quick trip to his mouth.

"I'm… I'm Matsuda's cousin." You replied, confused as to why watching him eat ice cream was so fascinating. "He said I could come up and wait here until he gets back."

He blinked dark eyes at you and nodded once. "I see, well then… Would you care to join me?"

You blinked. "Join you?"

"In cleaning out the kitchen. I am a connoisseur of confections and my store is wearing thin. I had planned to take the time the others are gone to finish it off so that I may start anew."

You stared at him as he shuffled off back the way he had come, heading towards what appeared to be a kitchen at one end of the room. "Oh…"

"You don't have to, if you would prefer not to…" He gave you a look that made your heart skip a few beats without knowing why. "But as I said, I cannot let it go to waste."

You blinked again, and then tentatively followed him, deciding it might be fun to see this _connoisseur of confections_ in action…

 _Crazy way he thrills me, tell ya' why,_  
_He's like lightning from the sky._  
_He loves to kiss me till I can't see straight;_  
_Jee my Lollipop is great…_

You sat across the low table from him, trying not to laugh as you observed him pluck cherries systematically off the dessert before him and pop them into his mouth. It was odd to think that you were currently devouring a fest of sugar with the world's greatest detective.

You occupied yourself with a quarter-pint of ice cream, and attempted to scrape the last vestiges of the delicious half-liquid off the bottom of the carton and onto your spoon.

Thus far, you weren't having much luck.

You decided that some battles need not be fought, and moved on to the next item on the list. A positively _massive_ swirled lollipop. "Do you really eat sweets like this all the time?" You asked suddenly, remembering something Matsuda had mentioned at one time. "It seems like it would be kinda unhealthy."

He blinked over the top of his frosted milkshake at you, and smiled slightly. "Are you saying you are concerned with my health?"

You gave him a flat look and set about licking the lollipop into submission.

"It is not unhealthy for someone like me, who has a very high metabolism. If, say, Matsuda were to attempt a diet such as mine, the effects would not be as beneficial."

You instantly imagined Matsuda chugging down a very large milkshake and giggled against your lollipop.

L, as he had finally introduced himself, looked over at you again, inspecting you closely as he slurped the last of his milkshake out of the glass. "That appears to be quite the challenge you have taken on… Would you like some assistance?"

You blinked, unsure of his meaning but nodding all the same. The sooner you finished off this lollipop the sooner you could… Your train of thought was instantly derailed when he slipped from one chair into another and leaned in close enough to run his long tongue against the side of the lollipop facing him.

Well then.

You attempted to hide your blush behind the lollipop's rather expansive surface, but you knew you were unsuccessful by the way his lips twitched upwards at the corners again.

This time, instead of licking the flat surface on his side of the lollipop, he set his tongue to trailing along the edge and brushing feather-light against your cheek.

You jerked away instantly, and he put his thumb to his bottom lip. "I apologize. I thought you wanted my assistance in defeating this particular sugary foe."

And just like that, you couldn't help yourself any longer. You leant forward and licked from his chin to the corner of his lips, lingering there for a moment before pulling away. "I apologize," you mimicked softly, a grin pulling at your mouth, "but you had a little spot of something and I just couldn't let it go to waste."

His eyes flashed suddenly brighter, seeming intrigued, and he stood. "Would you care to join me? All of this sugar has made me suddenly quite drowsy…" He trailed off again and you saw the way his lips quirked upwards in an almost-smirk.

"I think I will." You replied, carefully handling the lollipop so that it wouldn't brush against anything. "As long as you promise to help me finish this."

"I wouldn't dream of letting it go to waste." He replied softly.

 _Lollipop, lollipop,_  
_Oh lolly, lolly, lolly,_  
_Lollipop, lollipop,_  
_Oh lolly, lolly…_

_"Lollipop" by: The Chordettes_


	2. Next Contestant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You noticed that he watched you as you left, and you wondered idly whether or not he had been paying as much attention to you over the past few months as you'd been paying him. And you found there was a little more swing in your hips as you went back to work.
> 
> Mello/Reader

_Here comes the next contestant..._

When you'd first met the fiery blond in black leather, you'd thought he was a little… _Weird_. Not that weird was bad, exactly; especially not when it looked as good as he did, but he never opened up and tried to keep his head down, and you swore that there was something going on with him that he didn't want anyone to know about.

His redheaded friend was the really funny one, you'd discovered, and when they got drunk, it was the boy in the stripes that dragged his friend onto the dance floor.

And they tended to get drunk pretty often.

Eventually you'd stopped wanting to refer to them by their appearances and worked up the courage to ask for their names, seeing as they were regulars.

You waited till leather-and-laces had wandered off in search of something to ask stripy-boy who they were.

He'd told you their identities with a massive grin, and then asked when you got off work.

You were grinning right back when you told him you had to work all night.

He replied with a shrug and a promise to keep you company at the club until you went home.

When Mello got back and joined Matt for another drink before he was dragged to the dance floor, you noticed that he watched you as you left, and you wondered idly whether or not he had been paying as much attention to you over the past few months as you'd been paying him.

And you found there was a little more swing in your hips as you went back to work, refilling a few glasses that should probably have remained empty, and trying to ignore the less-favorable looks you were getting from a few of the other patrons.

 _I judge by what she's wearing_  
_Just how many heads I'm tearing_  
 _Off of assholes coming on to her_  
 _Each night seems like it's getting worse_  
 _And I wish she'd take the night off_  
 _So I don't have to fight off_  
 _Every asshole coming on to her_  
 _It happens every night she works_  
 _They'll go and ask the DJ_  
 _Find out just what would she say_  
 _If they all tried coming on to her_  
 _Don't they know it's never going to work_  
 _They think they'll get inside her_  
 _With every drink they buy her_  
 _As they all try coming on to her_  
 _This time somebody's getting hurt..._

Most of the ones who tried anything were harmless, but there were a few of them that just gave you the creeps. It was the ones that ignored their girlfriends in favor of looking you over, and the few who were brave enough to try and touch you that really got under your skin. But they were paying customers, and you didn't really want to make any of them mad, so you tried to keep your temper under control.

You'd had a lot of practice at grinning and bearing it.

And when your shift was _finally_ over, you found that you were thrilled when Matt and Mello saw you out of the club through the back door, and walked you all the way to your car.

And when one of the boys who'd been trying to catch your eye all night tried to call out to you, you found yourself unable to reply because Mello's lips were pressed flush against yours as he pressed you back against the side of your car.

He'd explained later, when he was holding an icepack over the shiner you'd given him and was sitting on your couch, that he'd done it to keep the other guy at bay.

You'd rolled your eyes.

"Seriously, if it had been any other night, I never would have tried to kiss you. Hell, if Matt had been closer, he probably would have done it instead."

Matt nodded solemnly from his seat next to his friend, clearly trying to drown his hangover in the cup of coffee you'd given him. "That's right."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I don't _expect_ you to do a damn thing," he spat back, "but I'd _prefer_ if you didn't go about dishing blame where it doesn't belong."

You noticed the way he wasn't looking at you; you'd only punched _one_ eye after all, and smirked. "Okay, how about we make a deal."

They'd both snapped to attention. "What sort of deal?" Mello asked.

"The kind where you become my boyfriend to keep the jerks at bay, and I let you have free drinks while you're 'on duty'."

"What about Matt?"

"He can be your wingman. If you're busy dealing with someone, he can step in and let them know, in a friendly sort of way, that I'm already taken."

Mello removed the icepack from his eye, smirking slightly. "Are you sure about that? Because I can be pretty possessive."

You moved over to him and crawled into his lap, noticing with some great pleasure the way his cheeks reddened slightly under the attention. "I figured as much, and that's why I picked you. Now come on, _sweetie_ , we've got some practicing to do."

Matt looked like he'd never been happier.

And Mello looked pretty pleased with himself too.

 _Is that your hand on my girlfriend?_  
_Is that your hand?_  
 _I wish you'd do it again_  
 _I'll watch you leave here limping_  
 _I wish you'd do it again_  
 _I'll watch you leave here limping_  
 _There goes the next contestant..._

The next night you were scheduled, you called Mello and let him know, and he and Matt were waiting for you at the back entrance when you arrived.

Mello instantly put a hand on the small of your back and guided you through the door, smirking slightly as he led you over to the bar and then pressed a kiss to your shoulder before you slipped back behind it and he took a seat.

Matt was trying not to grin like an idiot as he sat beside his friend, and you were trying not to smirk as Mello glared down a guy three seats over who looked like he might try to make a move as you moved over to him.

After only an hour, Mello had already intervened five times when boys had gotten too friendly, and every time they ran with their tails tucked between their legs, you'd lean across the bar and whisper a soft _thanks_ into his ear.

He'd grin right back and ask you for that free drink, and you'd roll your eyes at him, but you both knew it was just his way of saying _you're welcome_.

He didn't get violent, just as you'd imagined he wouldn't, and Mello dealt with potential threats with a few of his own, and all it took was a few soft-spoken words to have them running.

It didn't take you long to realize you might actually fall for him if he kept this up.

_I even fear the ladies_   
_They're cool but twice as crazy_   
_Just as bad for coming on to her_   
_Don't they know it's never going to work_   
_Each time she bats an eyelash_   
_Somebody's grabbing her ass_   
_Everyone keeps coming on to her_   
_This time somebody's getting hurt..._

On the rare occasions that the girls were the ones to put the moves on you, Matt was the one who intervened. He'd sidle up all casual like, and within five minutes or less they were on their way.

"He hates talking to chicks," Matt answered your question as to why this was with a grin, "he thinks he's bad at it, even though I tell him he isn't. He swears you're the first girl he's ever actually gotten along with. Which makes sense, seeing as you give him free liquor."

You'd laughed at that. "Seriously? I would have thought he'd be great with the ladies."

He'd looked at you like you were insane. "God no. Well, he gets on with you, but I think that's because you didn't try to ask him where he gets his outfits from. And don't try, either, I swear he is such a girl about that."

You'd laughed again, and then jumped about a mile in the air when a hand landed dangerously close to your belt, and a soft whisper brushed past your ear.

"That guy over there keeps staring… Mind walking with me over to the back?"

 _I'm hating what she's wearing_  
_Everybody here keeps staring_  
 _Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve_  
 _This time somebody's getting hurt..._

"How's this?"

"Too much leg."

"I'll be wearing boots…"

"Still too much. Try another skirt."

You'd rolled your eyes at the blond on your couch. "You know, I can't dress like a dowager just because you want to make it easier to keep boys from staring."

He'd blinked. "What? No. I'm just saying that one's too short. Seriously, is that even finger-tip length? I don't think so."

"Stop staring."

"Hey, you're the one who asked me to do this."

Mello had started riding home with you the nights you worked the graveyard shift, and eventually you'd cleaned out the guest room and let him spend the night every once in a while.

Matt never imposed, but he'd turn up every once in a while to drag Mello away for a job, and when he did, he'd always send you these apologetic looks as though he really was depriving you of something.

Mr. Fashion Police had shown his true colors one night when you'd walked out of your room in an outfit he claimed made you look way too loose.

You took that as a translation for: _You look too hot, go change before anyone gets ideas_.

So now it was a nightly occurrence for him to either approve or reject the outfits you planned to wear to work, claiming that it was all part of his being your boyfriend.

You never missed the times he forgot to add the _pretend_ part into that sentence.

 _I wish you'd do it again_  
_Each night seems like it's getting worse_  
 _I wish you'd do it again_  
 _This time somebody's getting hurt..._

The first time he'd ever punched a guy, you never saw it coming.

Normally he didn't resort to violence, never finding it necessary, but when he did resort to it, he knocked the guy in question out cold.

His face had gone red, his fists clenched, hair flying out of its usually perfectly-combed style. He'd _yelled_ , and you'd never heard him raise his voice at a guy either.

It had taken Matt on crowd control and you man-handling Mello out the back door before he calmed down enough to explain what had happened.

"What were you thinking?" You demanded in a harsh whisper. "Mel, I could lose my job if he reports you for this!"

He flinched at the sound of his nickname, unaccustomed to hearing it come out of your mouth when you were mad. "Sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry won't cut it! Why'd you hit him?"

"He… You didn't hear him! He was saying… God, the most _disgusting_ things."

"So have others."

"Not like this." It was the drop in his voice that caught your attention, the fight suddenly going out of him in a rush. "This wasn't like the others. I just…" He raked a hand through his hair, sighing. "I lost it."

"I noticed."

He gave you a flat look. "Look, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"You sure about that? Because you've been getting more tense about these boys for a while now. Eventually you're going to run across another creep, and you're going to lose it again."

"It's not my fault I actually care."

You blinked, unsure if you'd heard him properly. "What?"

"You. I care about you," he rolled his eyes, "and _God_ , I sound like a sappy soap-opera saying this, but it's true." He hesitantly pulled you into a hug. "So shoot me, I feel like your real boyfriend."

You laughed. "I'm not going to shoot you," you pulled away far enough to grin up at him, "but I might have to thank you properly for decking that guy later."

He grinned. "I think I could get on board with that."

You pulled him into a crushing kiss, surprising him with the suddenness of it. "I should _certainly_ hope so."

_There goes the next contestant..._

_"Next Contestant" by: Nickelback_


	3. Ease My Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because they were the ones who got everything down just so, he and L, and whenever they were the ones who called in favors, you didn't have to think twice about accepting, because it would have been foolish to think that they would ever put you in harm's way. You weren't a pawn to them, like so many of your other employers, and you knew they would look after you.
> 
> Near/Reader

_Will you please ease my pain...?_

When your phone danced its way across the top of your dresser, odd little noises being caused by the vibrations against wood, you didn't even have to look at the caller ID to know who it was. When your phone rang silently, there was only one person it could be, and you flipped it open without hesitation, the tiniest ghost of a smile on your lips.

"How can I help?"

If it had been Mello, the double-bass beats of his favorite song would have filled your small bedroom, and if Matt had been the one on the other end of the line, then it would have been the ever entertaining " _Finish Him!"_ command from Mortal Combat that directed your attention towards the phone. Even L, who you had decided deserved the refined tones of Moonlight Sonata, was aware that he had his own theme song on your phone, and approved of the ringtone in question.

But Near, who was the one who had called you this time around, continued to be put on vibrate until you could find a song that fit him well enough to be used as a theme song. Thus far, you had been unsuccessful, and even though Mello continued to voice ideas every time you saw him, and even occasionally via text when he thought there was one he couldn't wait to share, you had told him that the day you found the right song was the day you'd give Near one.

"I require a few of your expert skills." The even voice on the other end of the line redirected your attention back to the present. "I believe you still remember where I am located?"

"I'll be there in ten minutes," you were already headed towards the door, jacket in one hand and car keys in the other, "is there anything in particular you need me to bring?"

There was a pause, and you could practically hear his forefinger twisting away at a snowy forelock of hair. "I believe you are the only thing you need to bring."

You grinned as you locked your door behind you and took the stairs down two at a time. "Well I wouldn't dream of coming without me." You responded the way you always did when that was the answer he gave you.

"What a comforting thought," he replied, "I can't imagine what it would be like for you to come by without yourself along for the ride."

 _Out of time, I hear your voice_  
_Break through the noise_  
 _And pain, my heart's refrain..._

You had, of course, grown up alongside the genius that now sat across from you, putting puzzle pieces into place while he waited for his program to do its thing and pinpoint whatever object he was trying to find.

You had not, however, followed in his exceptional-I.Q. footsteps, and instead had taken what you had labeled as "the Mello route". Which was not to say that Mello or yourself was unintelligent, but you preferred guns and getting your way through force than sitting about strategizing how best to play with your prey. You weren't as… Outspoken as Mello was in his negotiations, and you usually offered your gun-toting services to any one of your childhood friends instead of freelancing for yourself.

You liked it better this way, letting someone else call the shots and tell you what to do. It made you feel more secure, and when it was Near orchestrating whatever great scheme you'd been called in on, you knew it would all turn out perfectly.

Because they were the ones who got everything down just so, he and L, and whenever they were the ones who called in favors, you didn't have to think twice about accepting, because it would have been foolish to think that they would ever put you in harm's way. You weren't a pawn to them, like so many of your other employers, and you knew they would look after you.

They would make sure you got out of whatever mess they'd sent you into alive and as close to undamaged as they could manage.

Near stopped what he was doing and turned to look at the screen beside him, frowning slightly as whatever was there disappointed him. "I need you to deliver something for me, if you would." He turned the screen until you could clearly see the vibrant blue dot in the middle of a 3D structure. It was blinking cheerily from the fourth floor, back in the far west corner room.

"Of course. What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to white-wash that room." His tone was perfectly calm as he told you, in essence, that you had to kill everyone inside. "I already have the case that will do it for you; I simply need you to take it there."

"Give me directions and I'm on my way."

 _Why can't I convince myself_  
_That this is the right time_  
 _To contend...?_

You'd been young when you'd first started all of this. Dashing about doing the dirty work of those higher up the metaphorical totem pole until you could climb the ranks yourself and find your own lackeys. But you hadn't gotten very high before you realized that you liked it down here. People here, who had others over them, tended to survive longer.

And when Near had unofficially made you his personal conveyance system, taking anything from bombs to birth records to designated points of interest, you had felt relieved. Here was someone you knew not only would look after you, but who actually cared in an odd no-emotions-visible sort of way.

But there were still times, despite how much you cared for the albino boy, that you wanted to tell him enough was enough and simply walk away. But every time you got close to saying those words, as simple and short as they were, he would give you a look that shot straight through you, and you knew you'd never actually be able to leave. You'd become part of his world, part of his tiny monochromatic universe that was filled with wiring and puzzles and only a handful of people, and you couldn't walk away from that.

You couldn't walk away from _him_.

So you kept his ringtone on vibrate even long after you'd found the perfect song for him, and pretended to consider every suggestion that Mello made just so he'd never ask why you'd picked a certain song for the boy in white who'd managed to slip so easily into your heart without so much as a struggle on either of your parts.

And Near, for all his intellect and insight, never made a sound on the subject and for the longest time you convinced yourself that he didn't know. That all of this was your little secret, and he hadn't a clue the sort of control he had over you. But deep down you knew he'd figured it out long before you had yourself, and he was just biding his time until you caught up to him, and then he'd turn around and ask you what you wanted to do about it.

And that thought scared you more than any other.

 _Break the tide that's pushing you_  
_Outside the place you're safe_  
 _Don't pretend..._

It was tiny, microscopic things at first. Things you would never have noticed if you hadn't been on high alert for anything irregular in his behavior. Things you knew no one else saw, because this was _Near_ you were talking about and of course no one else would notice because he was far too subtle to set off anyone else's radar.

But you noticed.

You noticed how he sat a half inch closer to you whenever you came by, how he looked you in the eye instead of a calculated quarter of an inch to one side of your head, how he'd dropped your alias when the two of you were alone and had started calling you by your real name again, how every so often his hand would brush against yours seemingly on accident. Except that Near didn't have accidents, and everything was always perfectly calculated by his entirely too-capable mind, and you knew he was doing all of this on purpose simply for your benefit, and it made your stomach churn.

You'd never really been afraid of Near, he wasn't the sort of person who instantly struck fear into the hearts of others, but you had always been wary of him. He knew things about you that others didn't and you knew he had a vindictive streak like no other when he felt the urge to do something about someone he didn't like. So no, you weren't afraid of him, exactly, but you weren't _not_ afraid of him either.

But this, this sudden sitting closer and calling you by your name, set you on edge. It made your heart beat a bit faster, made you want to run away every time his skin brushed lightly against yours, made you want to scream because up until now you'd thought you had him figured out. But not anymore.

Now it was a whole new game and you didn't know the rules because Near never really was one to share, and you had no idea how to fight back against the sudden tide that was pushing you out of your comfort zone. You were adrift at sea and you knew you'd drown unless you found a raft to cling to, so you did the only thing you could.

You made up rules of your own.

You shoved out all the little voices that had once told you not to stare at his slate eyes, or to keep your hands off his creamy skin. All the little warning bells that tolled when he gave you that tiny, crooked grin were silenced, and you grinned right back. What had once been a sense of propriety when you visited and sat exactly where the chair had been placed was traded in for a sense of rebellion that dictated you could move the chair wherever you pleased as long as you kept it on your side of the table.

And all of a sudden, like a light bulb blinking on in a dark room or an elevator finally arriving at the right floor, you realized what he'd been doing, and the thought that you'd been doing the same to him made pink blossom in your cheeks because you hadn't realized it until now.

He'd been trying to tell you he cared. In an all-encompassing, fonder than most, sort of way. And if you were right in your assumptions, you'd been saying the same thing back, and you hadn't meant to, not so soon.

But now that he'd heard you, you could stop pretending.

 _Ask my eyes protect my gaze_  
_As the light makes the day_  
 _I pray..._

The morning you awoke to warmth pressed tight against your back and fingers digging gently into your stomach you weren't entirely sure what to do. Soft, warm breaths were being sighed against your skin and you pulled all of your thoughts together long enough to open your eyes to morning light streaming in through your bedroom window and realize that there was a genius curled up in bed next to you.

And that he'd been there all night.

The guilt had been the first thing to wash over you then, the gnawing, sickening feeling that maybe you'd done something you shouldn't have, and he'd blame you for it and everything would inevitably go straight to hell, and you'd lose one of the only friends you'd ever really had because you'd done something stupid.

It was only after that wave washed over you that you realized Near didn't have lapses in judgment, and he never would have joined you if he hadn't thought it through completely first. And with that revelation came an odd calm to wipe away your guilt and worry because if Near was clinging onto you it was by his choice and his choice alone, and you had nothing to feel guilty over.

The hands around your middle started to move, and you bit back a giggle as they hit a rather ticklish spot in their journey backwards towards their owner.

Once they were out of the way you rolled over, and caught your breath at the sight of a still-sleepy Near drenched in dawn light. "Morning." You managed, watching him blink his eyes fully open.

It was then you discovered mornings were not Near's thing, as he burrowed back under the covers and cuddled closer to you, fully intent upon using you as a very large teddy bear as he drifted back off to sleep, a smile now haunting his lips. "That greeting will still be valid in an hour. I suggest you wait until then to use it."

You grinned, letting him wrap you in his arms and let the world fall away again. Silently, you sent a prayer to whoever was listening, and asked that they let this keep happening until the day the earth stopped spinning.

Then, and only then, could you stop being used as a teddy bear.

_Will you please ease my pain...?_

_"Ease My Pain" by: Declan Flynn_


	4. Set Apart This Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And maybe it had been a little silly when it had first started, just a little, but he didn't care because no amount of time spent glued either to the TV screen or Mello's mischievous side could compete with a moment spent with you and your bright eyes so full of hope for the future.
> 
> Matt/Reader

_Close your eyes little girl_  
_You're a princess now, you own this world_  
 _Twirling in your twirly dress_  
 _You're the loveliest far above the rest..._

You'd been by his side since the beginning. Ever present and ever perfect in his eyes. So much more than anyone had ever thought you'd be, because they couldn't see you the way he could.

And for all the others, you'd just been one more face in the crowd, one more little orphan girl who was admitted to the house you all shared because you showed promise. But not to him. Oh no, he'd known what you were the moment he'd laid eyes on you.

You were a princess.

And it didn't matter what Mello said, he was in love and it was as simple as that. There was something about you, about the way you wore your hair and held your chin up just a smidge higher than everyone else, the way you worked figures in a snap and still managed to have a magnificent imagination, the way you twirled in your long dresses when you thought no one was looking, the way you looked at him across the room and smiled, the way you lit up the world like no one else.

And maybe it had been a little silly when it had first started, just a little, but he didn't care because no amount of time spent glued either to the TV screen or Mello's mischievous side could compete with a moment spent with you and your bright eyes so full of hope for the future.

And the nights when you had bad dreams, brought on by villainous shadows that haunted your bedroom, Matt would be there to whisper you slowly back to sleep and watch your face ease into slumber, all the worries of the world suddenly slackening from your features as you dreamed of wonderful places and palaces filled with courtiers all bowing to you and you alone.

At least, that was what he hoped you dreamed of.

He would always slip away before you awoke the next morning, because he had decided that might be a bit much at so crucial a stage as this, but he made sure you were safe. Even when you didn't know it, he was keep an eye on you, because there had never before been such a thudding in his chest than when you walked past, or so strong a desire to deck a kid than when he teased you over one thing or another that Matt found absolutely lovely about you.

He was the first boy you ever let catch you off-guard and allowed to cover your eyes with a whisper to keep them shut tight as he led you through well-worn halls and showed you wonders you'd never knew existed until then.

He knew all the things that made you tick and twirl and it made his heart hurt when you were sad, even though his young mind couldn't quite figure out why.

So he'd decided on the spot one night, when he'd found you sobbing silently into your pillow for a reason he knew better than to ask about, that no matter what happened, or what turns life took you two on, he'd be there. He'd look after you.

And no matter what, he'd love you, because he knew that was more important than any number of other things combined. And if you didn't love him back, well…

He was willing to take that chance.

 _You build your castles in the sky_  
_Stars reflecting off your eyes_  
 _And angels sing on silver clouds_  
 _And no one cries, screams or shouts..._

It took you a few years, but the day you singled him out and asked him to join you up on the roof to watch the stars, his heart did backflips worthy of a gold metal.

And you didn't notice how you affected him, as loudly as his heart was pounding out against his ribs he thought you might be able to hear it, but he didn't care, because he had all the time in the world to get this right. And you deserved nothing short of perfection.

You were a dreamer, always talking about the things you knew you'd never get but that you wanted anyway, and he never laughed at you, because he knew more than most how important dreams could be.

He encouraged your fantasies, always making suggestions when his opinion was requested, and never once tried to tear down the castle that you'd started to build up in the sky. He wanted you seated up there on a throne of pearls and gold, wreathed all 'round with angels singing. And he didn't care how silly Mello thought that sounded, because it was true, and no one had asked the blonde's opinion in the first place, thank you very much!

More than anything, though, he wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to escape all the sadness in the world, all the hurt and sorrow and disappointment. He wanted you to achieve all your dreams, because the alternative was too terrible to even think about.

"So, when you leave here," he began casually one night as you two sat out on the shingles just above your bedroom window, "what do you want to do? I mean, if you could pick anything."

You laughed, gently, and turned to look at him. "I dunno. I mean, there so many things I'd _like_ to be, I'm not sure if I could narrow it down to just one. Is that a bad thing?"

He stared at you as the stars were reflected back at him from your eyes, and his heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second, because nothing could compare to that image no matter how long he lived. "No," he whispered back eventually, "that's not a bad thing at all."

You'd smiled then, all innocent and untapped potential, and more than ever before he knew that he could never let anything happen to you without feeling guilt for the rest of his life. Someone like you, who could build castles in the sky and know that they might not float forever but would try just the same, deserved to have the best that life could offer.

And he intended to be there to make sure you got it.

 _Close your eyes pretty girl_  
_'Cause it's easier when you brace yourself_  
 _Set your thoughts on a world far off_  
 _Where we only cry from joy..._

Life wasn't the kindest of creatures, of that Matt had no doubts, but there were certain times when he wished it would take a break from the constant vindictiveness in order to let good people, people like you, have a break from all the things life threw the way of not so good people.

People like him.

So the nights he came back to the dimly lit apartment wincing and nursing a new injury, and found you there waiting with the first-aid kit, he felt like possibly the worst person on the planet for making you worry about him. And he always apologized, because he was guilty as charged in the made-my-girl-worry department, and you always waved it off because that wasn't the point.

"You're alive," you pointed out for possibly the millionth time that month, "I don't care about anything else."

"You should," he replied in the same way he had ever since this pattern had started, "I'm a terrible human being." The confession always slipped past his lips without him really meaning to say it, despite how true he found it, and he always winced seconds later because he'd said that to your face, and you were the one looking out for him now, although heaven only knew why you put up with his antics.

"Liar." You snapped back instinctively. "A terrible human being wouldn't have kept me safe for so long." You'd stitch and bandage and remedy his wounds. "A terrible human being wouldn't let himself get injured trying to save someone important to them." Your voice would dip a few octaves and you'd close your eyes, always remembering the words he'd told you way back when you'd still been children. "A terrible human being wouldn't be so easy to love."

And you'd say it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Matt's heart would shatter in his chest like crystal thrown against a brick wall because that was life's sense of humor all over. The boy who'd decided to protect a little girl the first time he'd laid eyes on her ending up being the one protected by a girl who could close her eyes and overcome anything thrown her way.

"But an angel like you still would be." His lips would twitch upwards at the edges, almost rueful in their expression, and he'd wait the span of perhaps six seconds before he leaned in and stole a kiss without warning, all his wounds screaming in protest before you kissed back and soothed all his pain away without even having to try.

"I'm no angel." You'd always reprimand him when he called you that, all the while trying to hide the smile that the comment elicited.

"Only because they mislaid your wings and haven't been able to deliver them yet." And he'd grin shamelessly, because nothing else really mattered so long as you were waiting for him when he came back from a job, beaten and bloody, ready to stitch his seams back together.

And all the dreams in the world couldn't compete with the reality that no matter what anyone said, you two were happy, and he wouldn't have fixed it any other way, even if he'd been able to.

You were all he'd ever really wanted in life, that little girl from so long ago twirling to a symphony only you could hear, and now that he had you it didn't matter what life threw his way.

He'd be able to take it if you continued to stay by his side.

 _Oh, lovely and beautiful, precious and priceless_  
_You're so much more than you know, heart of the purest gold_  
 _Pure clean and white as snow clothed in such splendor_  
 _Oh, what a beauty for me..._

_"Set Apart This Dream" by: Flyleaf_


	5. Everybody Loves Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But if you were being honest, there was only one member that made a difference to you, and his real name was Light Yagami.
> 
> Light Yagami/Reader

_And you don't have to make a sound  
Cause they got what you need..._

You had lied to your friends when they asked you who your favorite band was. It was one thing to tell them that you like the new Visual Kei band, it was another entirely to tell them that you were close to obsessed with the members of _Death Notes_. Specifically the brunette with honey colored eyes that had first gotten you interested in the band.

Sure, L was cute, and he had a fair number of followers of his own, but the whole " _baby panda_ " look just didn't really float your boat. And okay, you'd be lying if you said that you didn't loved the way Mello looked jamming on bass in all that leather, or how attractive you found Matt on drums, but none of them, not even cute little Near who always stood at the back of the stage, could compare with the lead guitarist.

And yes, okay, you had his picture in your locker at school and even knew his real name, even though the stage name _Kira_ did things to the pit of your stomach when you thought about it for too long, but that was not something you were about to tell your friends.

No, when they asked, you liked _all_ the boys that played in the band, and you liked _all_ their songs, not just the ones where Kira added his voice to L's main vocals, and no, " _New World_ " was _not_ your favorite song because Kira was the only one who sang it, you liked it for the words and the message.

You'd been pretending for ages about how little you really liked him, even going so far as putting up pictures of Mello and Matt in your locker along with Kira, but if you were being honest, there was only member that made a difference to you, and his real name was Light Yagami.

 _God love all the people that have warned you_  
_God love all your sentimental virtue_  
 _Eight balls with the takers that'll make you_  
 _Lay cards with the lovers that'll hate you..._

You hadn't been expecting much for your birthday, but your brother had always had the opinion that you should be spoiled rotten, no matter the occasion, so when your birthday rolled around and you found two tickets, complete with backstage passes, to the _Death Notes_ concert that was coming to town, you nearly fainted.

You knew exactly who you were going to take, and spent the better part of two weeks before the concert started picking out exactly what you were going to wear, and what the plan for the night would be. You didn't want to mess this up, since you only got one chance, and yeah, okay, it was probably not going to be as great as every fantasy you thought up in your head, but that wasn't the point.

You were going to be backstage, with the band members, and you were finally going to meet _him_.

So, on the night of the concert, you could barely see straight you were so excited, and you had to admit that there were a lot of people here who were just as ready to meet the boys as you, but that wasn't the point.

The point was you were moments away from perhaps the greatest experience of your life so far, and you just couldn't wait.

Except, that was exactly what you were doing, standing by one of the vendor's stalls in the hall where the concert was being held, more than ready to go inside and get a good spot, but unable to do so.

"Okay, that's it!" Misa, who was the friend you'd invited along for the ride, grabbed your hand and tugged you off around one curved hallway, following a few stagehands that were moving around sound equipment. "We're getting inside if I have to bribe my way in!"

You laughed along with her, more than perfectly aware that she meant it, and let her lead you off along the hallway without another worry.

You were halfway through a door when she drew up short, a tiny squeak slipping past her lips, and you peered around her shoulder to see what the problem was.

The problem, funnily enough, was Mello, fiddling with the strings on his bass and swearing softly under his breath. "Matt, the hell did you do to this thing?"

"I didn't do anything to it." Matt snapped back, glaring at him from under the signature goggles that were perched atop his head. "You know I can't play it, so why do you even ask."

L rolled his eyes, checking over the microphone in his hands, and gave them both sharp looks. "Can you two please not fight for just one night? Please?"

They both grumbled out their agreement before Misa backpedaled so fast she tripped over you, and you both went toppling backwards through the door. You were just pulling yourself back together when the door opened again, and the blond, the brunette, and the redhead were all peering at you curiously.

"Looks like we caught ourselves some cute little mice…" Mello commented with a rather feral grin, and you felt a jolt run along your spine.

"Sorry!" You blurted out, standing up and quickly bowing to the three of them. "We didn't mean to intrude, we were just trying to find another way into the auditorium…" You straightened when you heard L shuffle closer, his bare feet whispering over the linoleum tiles softly.

"Don't apologize," he shrugged, giving you the smallest of smiles, "we don't really mind."

Misa looked like she was ready to have a heart attack with the way Mellow was looking at her, and you quickly went to her rescue. "Never the less, we should really be getting inside…"

"What's the rush?" A voice spoke from behind you, and you felt your heart miss a few beats, because you knew _exactly_ who that voice belonged to. Light slid into your line of sight with a smirk tugging at his lips, and you thought you might melt into the floor at the sight. "You have backstage passes, right?" He didn't wait for your answer, instead reaching forward and checking the tag around your neck for himself. "So why not kill time with us? We'll be sure you get a great spot for the show."

L glanced his way before nodding. "Stay."

And there was no way you would have ever been able to answer in the negative, even if it had been phrased like a question.

 _Oh my!_  
_Feels just like I don't try_  
 _Looks so good I might die_  
 _All I know is everybody loves me_  
 _Get down,_  
 _Swaying to my own sound_  
 _Flashes in my face now_  
 _All I know is everybody loves me_  
 _Everybody loves me..._

You couldn't remember the last time you'd had so much fun at a concert. From hanging out with the band backstage before the show to the show itself and the pounding of the bass and the drums in your chest, you were having the time of your life.

You danced and laughed and sang until your throat hurt, and every time you caught the glances that Light would slide you, you felt your heart start to hammer against your ribs again. And then he'd grin right into whatever camera was nearest him on stage, and that million-dollar look was projected up onto the massive screens on either side of the stage, and you felt a little lightheaded.

The crowd merely added to the adrenaline already singing through your veins, and whenever you turned to look at Misa, either to giggle at how awesome your night was, or drool over something one of the boys on stage had done, you felt like your night couldn't get any better. You could die tomorrow, and you'd be happy, as morbid of a thought as that was.

The last song of the night started to play, following their usual routine of ending on a high note, and as the lyrics to _"Shinigami"_ started to slip past L's lips, you knew that tonight had been the best of your life, and it would only get better by the time you went backstage for the second time. The music began to fade, only the chords of the bass ringing out through the auditorium, and the lights dimmed in time with the fading guitar and drums. You turned to Misa to ask what would be the best plan for getting back to see the boys again as the rest of the crowd turned and started to shuffle towards the doors.

But then, out of the blue, the lights flared back on, and Light stepped up to the mike and smirked right at you before he started to speak. "Just so we're clear, this is not going to become a regular thing." The crowd instantly screamed with delight as he walked to the side of the stage and picked up one of the acoustic guitars that had been sitting in the rack all night, untouched until now. "But you have been great tonight, so I think you deserve something a little special."

And you swore your heart had full on stopped beating at that point, as you watched him tap out a quick rhythm with his foot before he started to pluck the strings delicately, and you felt your heart begin to pound as you recognized the beginning of _"New World"_.

And when Light opened his mouth and started to sing, _"I'll be the king of this new world if you'll be my queen_ …", you felt giddy and lightheaded and close to actually crying, because he kept looking from his guitar to you and then back again, the smirk replaced with a soft smile.

You had never been happier than you were right then, standing at the edge of the stage and staring up into those honey eyes that were staring right back at you.

 _Don't need my health_  
_Got my name and got my wealth I_  
 _Stare at the sun_  
 _Just for kicks all by myself I_  
 _Lose track of time_  
 _So I might be past my prime_  
 _But I'm feeling oh so good..._

"Backstage" to the boys meant going back to the hotel suite they had been provided while they were in town for the concert, and although you certainly weren't complaining, it was a little odd to suddenly find yourself in such close quarters with people you hardly even knew.

Misa was camped out on a couch with Mello and Matt, chatting up a storm, and L had vanished into the kitchen in order to locate something to satisfy his sweet tooth. You, on the other hand, were standing out on the balcony with Light while he nursed a drink you knew by sight was alcoholic, and you tried to keep the blush off your cheeks.

"That song you played at the end…" You managed after a few moments of silence. "Was that for me?"

"Well you did say it was your favorite, didn't you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at you as he grinned. "Or was that some other cute girl backstage that I got you confused with?"

You nudged him, not even thinking about the action before it was too late to stop it, but he took it with grace and simply continued to smirk down at you. You knew he was only a year or two older than you, but it was impossible to tell by his eyes. They looked ancient, compared to the smooth skin of his face, and you felt a little sorry for him.

"You did enjoy it, though, didn't you?" He asked, suddenly sounding a little worried.

You blinked, looking up at him, and nodded. "It was amazing."

He smiled, nodding once. "Good." He took another sip from his drink and then glanced back over at you. "So you really weren't trying to sneak in and see us before the concert?"

You grinned. "We really weren't, I promise. We hadn't planned to get caught, either, but we can both be terrible klutzes."

He shook his head. "Oh, don't apologize, I had a great time… Still am, in fact." He winked at you and you felt heat flood back into your face.

It was the oddest sensation to be standing next to the man you'd been crushing on for the better part of two years, having the most mundane of conversations. Not odd in a bad way, obviously, but still odd. "Did you write that song for anyone in particular?" You asked softly, not looking at him.

"Not really." He replied with a shrug. "Everyone always asks me that, though… Maybe I should make up a better story to explain how it came into being." He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. "Maybe I should say I wrote it for you?"

"I don't think that's the greatest idea, Light…" You mumbled, before you realized what you'd just called him and clapped a hand over your mouth.

He smiled, though, and raised his eyebrows at you. "It's been a long time since anyone outside the band called me that…" He let his eyes drift over you for a moment before they returned to your reddening face. "Don't look so horrified, I don't mind."

"You don't?"

He winked. "When it's your pretty little mouth that's saying that name? Not even a little."

And what he did next continued to perplex you for the next several months, but you weren't about to complain about suddenly finding his mouth pressed up against your _pretty little_ one, or his calloused hand finding places to land against your waist.

"You know what," he breathed out as he grinned at you, "I think I will tell people I wrote that song for you."

"Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all." You managed with a blush and a bright smile.

He winked. "Not bad at all."

_And you don't have to make a sound  
Cause they got what you need..._

_"Everybody Loves Me" by: OneRepublic_  
  
_AU setting inspired by: Scyllaya_


	6. Painted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He watched and waited and bided his time, scanning through hundreds, thousands of faces until he finally caught sight of one he liked the look of.
> 
> Ryuk/Reader
> 
> Warning: Mentions of abuse.

_If I could find the time to speak_  
_I'd try to find a thousand ways to prove you're wrong_  
 _Falling on my face_  
 _I'm chasing all the lines of your skin_  
 _And all your pirouette mistakes_  
 _So dance until you're brand new_  
 _Ignore the fight inside that scares you..._

He'd watched the world for such a long time; sometimes he wondered if perhaps he had seen all that humanity had to offer him. All the fun and chaos, all the love and laughter and constant monotony of life… But it beat the monotony of the existence he led in this realm, full of dust and decay and never quite as vibrant as the world he could sit and watch, so that's what he did.

He could laugh at the stupidity of humans, giggle along with school kids who pulled a particularly good prank, and sometimes even feel sad at a tragedy he witnessed. But all the emotions were so much better than what he'd had before, he couldn't bring himself to turn away from the view he had of the world.

He _missed it_ , he realized. Missed the bustle of busy streets and watching the gears turn in his last human's head… It was so hard to be apart from it after living among them for so long, and honestly he wanted nothing more than to go back down there and drop his Death Note again, just to see what would happen.

First, though, he had to pick a person to haunt. No ordinary little insignificant human would do, not after all the fun he'd had with the last one, so this one would have to be someone special…

He watched and waited and bided his time, scanning through hundreds, thousands of faces until he finally caught sight of one he liked the look of.

You were so different from the last human he'd taken a shine too, but at the same time a little bit alike. You had spunk, something that made him grin even more widely than before, and he decided you'd do just nicely. He swore it was all about your personality and not about your appearance, although you _were_ cute too, and since when had he noticed human appearances anyway?

Regardless, he planned to pay you a visit, and he picked his time perfectly. He slipped through the shadows of your room while you were sleeping, looking you over closely and wondering what you might say if you could see him. It would be fun to spring his appearance on you, but you might scream, and he didn't want that. He wanted to be able to haunt your footsteps and watch the world through your eyes.

He wanted to be able to enjoy the world again, enjoy these little fleeting lifespans that humans had. He wanted to watch how your mind worked and laugh and cry along with you, wanted to be the devil that perched on your shoulder and whispered things into your ear in the dead of night.

He loomed over the bed and looked you over a little more closely; taking his time to be sure you were the one. You had problems; that he knew, your life was not as easy as the one he'd witnessed before, and he somehow found it comforting to know not everyone had it that easy. Not everyone could turn perfect circles and smile until their nightmares went away.

He had let fate decide the last human he made friends with, but this time he wanted the choice to be his own. He wanted to be sure that he got it right, that you would provide him with the entertainment he so desperately craved. That you would be worth his time and accept him once he finally showed himself to you.

And if not, well… What was the worst that could happen?

_Look before you end it all_   
_Look before you shut your eyes_   
_For the last time_   
_There's no more room to go back down_   
_Your picture trends in black and white_   
_I will show you what it's like..._

That first week had thrown Ryuk for a loop.

He had entered into this knowing your life wasn't easy, but he hadn't known just how much until the next morning when you awoke and started to cry at the realization that you'd have to face another day. It confused him, how someone who had a life could wish it away, but then he saw the purple bruises across your skin and he knew then why you cried yourself to sleep so often.

You slipped out of the house before anyone could realize you were awake, and he floated along after you, suddenly wondering what he could do to change the numbers that hovered over your head.

Today was your day.

He spent the entire time you were in school wondering when it would happen and how. He didn't know which Shinigami had your name on the tip of his tongue, but he wasn't about to let you end so easily. He'd picked you a _reason_ , and he wasn't about to let some low-life little weasel steal away his human. Not like this, anyway.

He hadn't been expecting suicide, at least not really, so when you stood at the top of the school and looked down, he actually felt something inside him go cold.

Humans were such selfish things, of that he was more than perfectly aware, but to take _your own life_? That was a whole new level of low.

So when you jumped, closing your eyes and simply letting go, pitching forward over the edge of the room and down towards the ground…

He caught you.

You stayed splayed on the ground with your eyes shut, staring unseeing up at the sky for another three minutes before you realized you still had a pulse and your eyes snapped open. Your mouth gaped, your eyes widened, and you started to whisper things he couldn't quite catch as you wondered _how_. It wasn't possible, as far as you knew, to jump that far and wind up unscathed, so _something_ must have happened. You sat up in the grass, looking highly confused and not a little disappointed, and picked yourself up and headed home.

Ryuk tried to hold in his grin as he followed you back along the route you'd taken that morning, but he couldn't keep it back. He would show you life could be better, show you the things you hadn't yet seen.

He would show you what life could _really_ be like.

 _Let them say all that they want_  
_I'll wipe away your painted wings_  
 _till your heroes come_  
 _If you doubt it looks so new_  
 _Then the venom in your eyes will control you..._

The nights you didn't cry yourself to sleep, you spent with your nose in a book or pouring over the mountains of homework that you were assigned every week. He liked those nights, sitting on the end of your bed just watching you work. Watching the way you chewed the end of your pencil while you tried to think of the right word for an answer, or how you stuck your tongue out at your math book when you couldn't get a problem to work out properly.

He liked _you_.

And there was nothing that hurt as much as seeing you stumble after you'd climbed so high, and spend another night hidden under your covers crying. He hated what life did to you, what you had no control over, and he hated that you didn't have a hero to help you through it. There was no knight in shining armor ready to swoop in and save the day, no one ready to step up and slay the dragon that tormented the princess…

There was no one there to save you.

No one except him, and he decided that it didn't matter what it did to his lifespan, he would look after you. He was invisible, but he could live with that.

It started with little things, like drawing smiley faces on the bathroom mirror once it was fogged up from the steam, or moving around the paper clips on your desk to spell out messages, and for the first time he got to hear you laugh. A real, honest-to-God laugh that made him chuckle a bit himself.

You assumed it was your little sister, of course, but eventually you realized there was something else going on. She denied any knowledge of it, and when she hinted that you had your own personal ghost, Ryuk could only laugh.

He'd been called worse, after all.

So you started talking to your "ghost", and he kept leaving little things around for you to find. And when he wasn't busy laughing about the things you'd say in response or how easily you accepted the presence of something _nonhuman_ in your life, he was laughing over how easily he could make you smile. How easily he could pretend to be your hero.

He decided, one night when you were actually sleeping with a smile on your face, that even if he didn't accomplish anything else, he would prove to you that you had wings. And they were much more than the painted things he'd drawn onto your mirror one morning before school. These wings would take you places, would make you _soar_.

 _She whispers in his ear_  
_Don't hurt me, don't forget me_  
 _Don't hurt me, I'm still not put back together..._

There were some nights, of course, that he wished he didn't have to see. Those nights were the worst, because he had seen _a lot_ in his lifetime, but the things you had to suffer through… Those were worse than all the others combined.

He decided that it was because _you_ had to live through them.

The shouts were one thing- he'd heard a lot of people scream over the years, but the whispering was so much worse. The harsh rasps that begged for forgiveness; that asked for lenience… They were so much more painful than the yelling was, because it took a certain amount of pain to reach the point where you could no longer be angry. It took a lot to have the fight leave you completely.

He'd seen it before, how easily humans could break when put under pressure, but he hadn't realized it could hurt this badly. He had _no idea_ how much it could ache to see you curl up with your head under the covers and ask for him to make it go away. How much it killed him to have to stand there and do nothing, because it wasn't within his power to. That wasn't his call, and even if it was, he had no idea what would happen if he intervened.

There were necessary evils, after all.

So instead he sat on the edge of your bed and made little things float through the air to a tune only you could hear, and you'd giggle at how childish he could be sometimes, but you never complained. You never rolled your eyes or asked him to stop. You simply pretended that the crashes coming from downstairs were symbols sounding in a grand orchestra, and that the screams were really the choir singing in a language you didn't understand but still found beautiful.

Those nights he was sure to never leave your side, just in case the fight found its way upstairs and you were in the crossfire. He might not be able to slay the dragons himself, but he could certainly keep them from finding the princess.

The day after, when the sun rose and you slinked down the stairs as quietly as you could so as not to wake anyone, he would slink right after you, wondering if maybe today you'd try the same stunt you had all those months ago when he'd first started this game and try to jump off another building.

But you never did.

Instead you pretended like it had never happened, like the fight had all been part of a terrible, terrible dream and it would all go away once you got through the day. He admired that about you, your dedication to keep your heart beating, and when he finally made his choice about what to do next, it seemed like the simplest thing in the world.

The little black notebook appeared on your desk the next day, and on your way to the bathroom you paused and looked at it. Such a curious object, you thought, peering at it more closely and reading the odd lettering across the front.

"Death Note…?" You blinked, reaching for it. "What's a Death Note?"

_I am right here and I'm waiting  
I can see you but you can't see me..._

_"Painted" by: Evans Blue_

**Author's Note:**

> Death Note and All Related Characters belong to: Tsugumi Ohba & Takeshi Obata


End file.
